IF I WROTE A POST, THEN THIS IS HOW I'D DO IT

One day, a chicken decided to go for a walk...you know, outside, sooo he grabbed his book bag. Now what you have to know about my friend the chicken is that he isn't one to leave the house un-prepared, so he had ten extra pares of clothes...I know, a little over exadurated (spelling). But you haven’t met my friend. Along with his clothes, he brought five-thousand dollars, you know...for if he needs an escape car, or something like that. well any who, back to the story…as you probably don't know, my very good friend the chicken was unlike all of the other chicken, he had magical powers...no that doesn't sound right...he, unlike any of the other chicken was incredibly smart...well at least for a chicken he was. Fin, oh that's his name, well fin was at the top of his class at the prestigious Princeton College for unusually smart mammals, otherwise known as PCUSM. He was also a wonderful athlete; his military training is what made him as cautious as he is now. Anyways, he didn’t understand why the freaking world had to be gosh danged mean!!!!! It is cruel and he doesn’t like it! Anyways, where was I...oh yes. He has an outstanding military background, and, even though he rarely has to; he could totally whip the freaking shat out of you. Fin loves to explore, when he isn't in a chat room with his long time girlfriend, an extremely aggravated mongoose named chartreuse, he can usually be found outside. They are madly in love, and are thinking about marriage. Fin never has had many friends, even when he was in college, he would get picked on. One of his less fond memories was of when he was about 19. These weird preppy guys were making fun of his gizzard, they were poking at it with a stick, and finally Fin, my sweet friend snapped. He turned around, and there was a vein popping out of his forehead, and, and, well lets just say that those nice young men aren’t playing much football anymore. Anyway, back to the story...Fin was on the run, and could think of no place better to hide than at chartreuses house, but he didn't know where she lived, so he was basically screwed....unless...he did an internet search for her online screen name, truceguseygirl_140, so he got out his mini laptop, and typed in her name. Sure enough there was a match! Fin jumped with joy, and thought that he was the happiest chicken in the world, but the truck that he had been sitting under moved, and ran over his toe. This action made him scream and forget where Chartreuse lives. To say the least, he was pissed. Well, in all reality, fin has trouble getting mad at people, so it really took about the worst possible thing (i.e... his toe got run over by a truck) to make Fin extremely angry, this whole “I am pissed off” thing was completely justified, how would you have reacted…I mean, you have a fifty pound sack on your back, you cant find where your girlfriend lives, your toe got run over, some guys made fun of your beak….I would be a little bit emo right about them, I would do the whole nine yards, slice up my wrists, cut my hair un-evenly, cry for no real reason at all…and I wouldn’t care either, cause that is just my feelings, and it is ok to have feelings, I am a mammal after all, what do you expect? So what, I can’t have any feelings, I don’t deserve it, this is fucking bull shit, who do you think you are? Trying to push me around and all that jazz, gosh, you suck! I think I hate you ass holes who I cant see, quit making fun of me, I have feelings too you know…I am going to listen to a Marlin Manson album and cut my wrists…f-ing assholes.